I just saw a news story that really bothers me.  There are plans to build a Muslim mosque near Ground Zero. I can understand how there are pros and cons to that. I understand how some people might be upset.

Here’s what upsets me. One of the core beliefs of this country is freedom of religion. We can’t blame an entire people for what a few evil ones did. I’m proud of President Obama for backing it. It makes me really sad that so many citizens and politicians object to it so strongly.

People in this country have a right to practice religion wherever they choose, as long as it’s within our laws. In my opinion, to believe otherwise is nothing short of Un-American.

That’s just my two cents. Take from it what you will.

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I remember reading somewhere that the most effective way to lose weight is to live as though you’re already at your goal. That means you must sit down and consider what kind of habits you can really maintain for the rest of your life.

Maybe you’re severely cutting calories now, and it’s working, but it’s important to realize something like that is only temporary. How long will it be before a strict 1200 calorie regimen backfires?

I am trying hard to get out of the “diet mindset”. Diets are temporary and don’t provide lasting results. I have to make myself completely available to a lifestyle change. Then, if life gets in my way, I have to learn to roll and adapt. I won’t always have time to plan all my meals or track every bite.

I have to keep reminding myself how hard it is to be this heavy. When I stay in one place for too long, I start to feel it all over my body. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. That’s been slightly effective at deterring self-destructive behavior. But only slightly.

*sigh* This is taking forever, and it is so frustrating. I just had to get that off my chest.

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I’m actually blogging from my phone! I’m not usually big into technology, but when it finds me, watch out.

It’s Saturday morning and as I sit contemplating a cup of coffee, I’m also thinking of the good things that happened this month. While R did spend half of it at home, I know he really really needed time to relax and recharge. Now he’s working in the office instead of the field and looking at the possibility of a promotion. If it is meant to be, it will happen. Here’s hoping!

Also, at nearly 24 years old, I’ve finally figured out what I want to do with my life. For the next 3 years I will be working my butt off at the JC toward a degree in Early Childhood Development. I will then transfer to a university and complete a bachelors degree in Dietetics. That will help qualify me for a dietetic internship and, one year later, I will take and pass the exam to become a Registered Dietitian. I hope to combine all of that into a fulfilling, lifelong career of helping people and putting a dent in childhood obesity.

I just wanted to get that out there. My hands are starting to hurt from typing on my phone, hehe. If you’re not already following me on Facebook, make sure you find me through the link on my blog roll!

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This was one weird month. It started out fine, then shit started happening. All the annoying people came out of the woodwork, a friend passed away, R sprained his ankle at work and is going on week 3 of modified duty. I confess I didn’t accomplish everything I wanted to, but I do not feel like a failure. I am not giving up.

August will be a busy month for me. It contains both mine and R’s birthdays, my first day of school in nearly 4 years, SIL’s baby shower, and of course a full-time job. All that can get to a girl, so here’s my plan to try and control the madness:

My physical challenge will be to eat. breakfast. every. day. A healthy one. At least 6 days of the week, it must be eaten at home with what I have in the house.

My emotional challenge-I’m kind of excited about this one- is to take pictures of EVERYTHING I EAT and post them to Facebook! The emotional part is I have to post it regardless of how I feel about eating it. I do have emotional eating issues, but if I channel that into shame over the whole world seeing that huge fast food lunch I ate, well, perhaps I will eat it more mindfully. I set up a public page called “What’s Yael Eating?” If you’re reading this, and you have a facebook, you should so totally ‘Like’ me

I warn you, it will probably be kind of boring, mostly because I tend to eat the same things during the work week. I promise to try and make it interesting though. I will also post my own helpful tips, health and fitness news I like, and maybe a lolcat or two.

Click here to follow me!

Oh, and last week I switched cell phone carriers and got my first Android! It’s a MyTouch 3G Slide, and I’m kind of obsessed with it. I spend lots of time looking at different apps, and just now I learned how to use RingDroid. Here are some of my faves so far:

-Calorie Counter by Fatsecret: This is a fab food tracking tool. I love that I can use the barcode scanner to enter food into the app. It’s super easy, and I always get excited when it recognizes a product.

-Epicurious: All the recipes that are available on the website, plus a separate compartment for favorites and even shopping lists! Speaking of which,

-Grocery iQ: no more screwy shopping lists! This thing categorizes food by aisle, is customizable by store, and lets you check everything off as you go. Then you click “checkout” and it saves all your history!

-WordPress- That’s right, I can now blog on the go!

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head. I should really get to sleep now. Nighty-night, see you in August!

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I’ve been struggling. I haven’t quite been meeting my goals this month. It started out okay. Independence Day weekend was wonderful- we spent it with my in-laws. Got to see their new houses, and SIL is getting nice and big. She’s due at the end of September. I <3 babies.

Then, I had a really annoying week at work, which was lengthened when I agreed to work an extra 8 hour day that wound up being 12. The next day, I found out about Vinnie. This past week, I was kind of on autopilot. Yesterday was the memorial service. I cried, of course. I wasn’t sure if I would, and I was fine until I walked into the chapel. But, it was a very nice service and I reconnected with some old friends.

Food-wise, my eating hasn’t been so great. I’ve been getting some fruits and veggies every day, but not always the full 5 servings. And I’ve eaten more processed junk than I care to admit. Not as much as before, but still. Exercise… is still a struggle. I haven’t been getting my daily activity like I said I would. Maybe 2-3 times a week max. There’s no real reason for that except I’m lazy.

I’ve been giving some thought to where I was at this time last year. Next week will be one year since I up and quit my job for a lower-paying one. It wasn’t my intention to write much about the past here, since I only want to look at the future, but losing a young friend got me examining myself. Since it’s my blog… here goes.

WARNING: Venting and self-examination ahead. Read at your own risk.

I’ve been doing security since January, 2007. This was never going to be a lifelong career, but it’s an easy job and steady paycheck. I started out at a Washington Mutual card service call center. I liked it a lot. The employees were nice, and I enjoyed the people I worked with. I was there for over two years, until Chase closed it in March, 2009. My company then transferred me to a certain gated community. I’d never worked in that kind of environment before, but I could honestly say I was a little excited for the change. It turned out to be the worst job I’d EVER had.

I worked the East Gate. I controlled access, and that. was. it. I stood at a computer, and I opened a gate. The job functions themselves were fairly simple, and I caught on quickly. What made it hard was the people I came in contact with every day. Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of kind, happy-to-see-me people. Sadly, there was a large enough handful of the other kind to make me dread going to work every day.

This is where I learned that Money+Big House+Little Car doesn’t always =Happy. These were some of the meanest, nastiest, most miserable people I’d ever met. They saw me as an obstacle, and didn’t care that my job was not to give them what they want- most days, I felt like I needed the words I Have No Control Over That tattooed on my forehead. My favorite part was when they’d threaten to report me to the HOA- oh, I loved it. I always wanted to dish it back out, and tell them to go ahead and try to have me fired. They’d just be reporting me for doing my job.

Oh, and NEWSFLASH: I don’t give a shit about the astronomical fees you pay every month. I make diddly squat and come home to a 600 square foot apartment. No one is forcing you to live in a place like this- you bought the million dollar house. Don’t you dare complain to me about it and expect me to have any sympathy for you.

Wow, it felt good to get that out.

But, because I really did need the job, I kept my mouth shut. I simply apologized for the inconvenience, smiled and sent them on their merry (or bitchy) way. The only person I had to talk to about any of this was my husband. That was bad. It was bad for me, bad for him, bad for our marriage.

My supervisor would stop by and tell me what a great job I was doing, how the residents were so glad I was there, how I was “a breath of fresh air” with my constantly sunny demeanor. The HOA president even made a special trip to the office just to praise me. The problem was that hardly any of this was said to my face. It was nice to hear that people felt that way, but when 99.9% of the people who came through my gate acted like jerks, the 0.1% who actually appreciated me just didn’t make up for it. I could have brought my concerns to my supervisor, but really, what could she do about it? I knew she couldn’t control the actions of hundreds of adults. They won’t change.

Finally, I decided I was sick of being treated like the dumb ass rent-a-cop and began searching for greener pastures, filled with people who might actually treat me like a human being. My company didn’t have anything for me at the time, so I was forced to look elsewhere. I did find a little something, and quit security the next day. I finished out the weekend, and I never went back to that site.

Stuff happened, and I am now back in security. I really like my new job, and I feel like I, too, am liked. I enjoy my co-workers, the client employees are so much nicer. I can see myself staying there for a long time. Or, at least until I’m done with school.

Now that things are looking up, I am asking myself: why can’t I let that other place go? Why can’t I forget about those people, the way I’m sure they’ve long forgotten me? Thinking about it still upsets me, and I just want to forget it ever happened. I realize this is a colossal waste of precious energy.

I understand now that I need to forgive them. You know, of all the people who were rotten to me, only one ever came back and apologized? I forgave him instantly, because I was so touched that he took the time to say he was sorry, and from then on, he was always smiling when he came through my gate.

I understand that by never going back, I am not giving the others a chance, so it’s something I have to come to terms with on my own. I have to forgive them, and channel that same energy into making positives in my life. I will put energy into making my apartment look like a real home. I will commit to a real exercise plan, and stay committed. I will fuel my body with healthy, nourishing foods because I am worth it. I will help my husband, help himself.

Lastly, I will go back to school for the last time. I will keep at it until I get my degree. I paid my fees, so there’s no going back. I am taking it easy this semester, mostly focusing on a 5 credit math class. My other unit is a Bootcamp class. I’m excited to only pay $26 to workout with a trainer, twice a week, for 4 months.

Whew! If you’ve read this far, kudos to you. Thanks for listening. It’s getting late, I should go to sleep now.

Until next time!

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It’s amazing what can happen in a split second. Early yesterday morning, I found out my friend, Vincent Sowle, passed away. He was in Vegas celebrating his 21st birthday. He got really drunk, got lost and wound up on top of a parking garage. He sat down on a railing, and somehow fell over. Total accident.

I can’t believe it. I had hoped it was a really bad joke. He is my best friend’s step-brother, so I immediately thought of her. R and I went straight to her dad’s house, where his brave mother, Tammi, answered the door. I can’t even imagine what this must be like for her. She pulled out all the stops, planning this trip for her only child.

I am so, so heartbroken for the entire family.

Good bye, Vinnie. You were too young, but you were growing up into a fine man. I hope you can see all the people who love you with all their hearts down here. We are all so proud to have known you.

But, then, you probably already know that.

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One month down!

I feel healthier, my tummy feels a tiny bit flatter, and I’m still going strong. Here’s the plan for July:

*I will update this blog at least once per week.

*I will continue eating my fruits and veggies every day.

*I will exercise every day. This will include 3-4 days of 10k training and 2 days of strength training. Even rest days will be active- a light walk, or maybe some yoga. Every day, I will do at least 30 minutes of something. This may be adjusted once school starts in August, but I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Until then, I am confident that I can maintain this habit.

Emotionally, I will indulge my cooking bug. I do enjoy cooking, but I don’t make the time for it that I should. This month, I plan to make at least one real, home cooked meal per week. I will also use ingredients and/or techniques that I don’t normally use. Each recipe will enlist the use of at least one of the following:

Eggplant

Tofu

Portobello mushrooms

Curry

and my crock pot.

This first week will be a bit tricky, as I’ll be out of town all weekend. I’ll probably end up making something one day before work.

Let’s do this!

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Here I go, starting this thing, all gung-ho the first week, then… nothing. Updating this blog, I mean. Day 27 has come and gone. Here’s a round-up of what I’ve accomplished in the last two (ish) weeks.

1. Except for two days, I have managed to consume at least 5 servings of fruits and veggies every day. I’ve eaten more carrots, broccoli, celery, apples, peaches, mangoes and watermelon than I’ve had in my entire life. That’s not including the blueberries in my oatmeal, or the swiss chard I steamed last week.

2. I’ve started having fresh produce delivered to my home. That’s where the chard came from. I’d never had it before. Every other week, a big box of fruits and veggies makes its way from the farm to my doorstep. So far, I’m liking this investment!

3. Last weekend, I worked. I came home and did not feel like cooking, so R and I got some takeout. Cheeseburgers. They were delicious. Then we wanted some dessert. R said I could have some of his snack cookies. The following came out of my mouth: “I don’t want cookies.” Nope, I wanted fruit. So I had watermelon. Sweet, cold, juicy, satisfying watermelon. I began to feel as though I’ve arrived. It’s a good feeling.

4. I even got R in on the act! He eats whatever I put in front of him, and he’s started exercising too. I’m lucky to have a supportive partner who also wants to be healthy.

5. Sometimes, I crave junk food. Big surprise, right? Then I do the usual sweep of the fridge, kitchen cabinets, etc., only this time, I keep almost no junk in the house. I say “almost” because I still get Skippy peanut butter, sugar and partially hydrogenated oils be damned. I don’t like natural peanut butter, so I allow myself this little splurge. I decide I don’t want celery, so I must not be hungry. I brew a cup of chai tea instead.

6. Today, I got a free health screening at my local CVS. They took my weight (high, of course), blood pressure (normal, but I’ve never had problems with that) and my cholesterol. I’d never had that number taken before, and with my weight issues, I always assumed it was too high. Ideally, one’s total cholesterol should be under 200. Mine is only 166! That’s normal! It was definitely a pleasant surprise. The guy who took my cholesterol was talking about how his was always high. I was about to ask if it was genetic, since he looked very thin and fit, but then he mentioned how much he loves fast food. I guess that’ll do it, huh? It goes to show, even someone at a “normal” weight can be at risk for big health problems.

7. Since I’m eating out less, and cooking from home more, I’m saving money! I’ve pretty much kicked my Starbucks habit, and I snack enough during the workday so at night, I’m not starving and (a) stopping for food on the way home or (b) binging on junk at home. My best trick for this is I keep a small container of nuts (usually almonds) in my purse and snack on them throughout the day. The protein helps keep me from feeling too hungry between meals, and therefore, I’m still satisfied by the time I get off work at 11:00 pm.

8. Lastly, I’m now on book 4 of the month. After Notting Hell came The Opposite of Love which was kind of depressing. I was relieved when my local library called to tell me a copy of The Carrie Diaries by Candace Bushnell was on hold for me. I thoroughly enjoyed that one. If you are familiar with Sex and the City, it’s a prequel that details Carrie Bradshaw’s senior year of high school, and how she wound up in NYC. The character is very different from that of the show, so I recommend reading the original novel first. I’ve just started Darkly Dreaming Dexter, the book that inspired the TV show.

This may be my last entry before I begin July’s challenges. I hope to write again Wednesday or Thursday. Until then!

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Is it Tuesday already? I had kind of a crazy weekend, and I’m finally feeling rested again.

Well, I have officially completed my first half marathon. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I did it. I walked most of it in just over 4 hours. The course was beautiful and peaceful. I spent most of it by myself, but I met some awesome people along the way- Most notably, Donna and Mary- two teachers. This was their first half as well, and they made great company

In the last quarter mile, I decided to try and run the rest. Now, my everything was hurting by that point, but I was still moving. Would you believe that I got about 30 feet before my freaking calf seized up?? Oh man, did it hurt. I tried to stretch it, when another lady who had long since finished came over to help me. She had me lean on her while she massaged my calf into submission. I thanked her, and she told me to walk it off- but (like a moron) I was determined to run to the finish. She caught up with me, and said her name was Linda, and she would finish with me. So we crossed the finish line together.

I maintained some blisters, a slight sunburn and a rash under my arm where my over shirt rubbed my skin.

This was truly an amazing experience. I even have a medal and a souvenir champagne glass to show for it! I am considering doing it again next year. I have inspired R and he wants to do a 10k with me! I think we’ll train for the Napa Wine Country 10k on October 30. Wow, I feel like I’m a member of “the club”!

We finished the day with Mexican take out, and movies. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I was faced with my favorite burrito. That was covered in lettuce, so I am counting that as a vegetable serving.

On Sunday, I rose at the crack of dawn for work, and my whole body protested every move I made.

Yesterday I was feeling much better, so I finally got to do my reading by the pool. Then I swam for 20 minutes. I did not finish my book in a week. I confess that, while I love to read, I have kind of a short attention span- this makes me a slow reader. I am over halfway through though. As soon as I am done, it will be on to book numero deux: The Opposite of Love, by Julie Buxbaum.

Today I am relaxing before work, and I also did a Leslie Sansone 2 mile walk for 30 minutes. So far, I’ve managed to get at least 5 servings of fruits and veggies every day for a week. This morning, I polished off a 12 oz container of sliced mango for breakfast. I’m thinking about making some quinoa to take for dinner. If I do, it will be served with steamed bok choy, and maybe some fish.

To conclude this belated post, I would like to thank my legs for being strong enough to carry me, even though my head likes to convince them otherwise.

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My weekend is here! Oh, happy day Three days into challenge and I am still going strong.

No blog yesterday, but I did get my fruits and veggies in! I had a banana, some apple slices with a little bit of Nutella for dipping, then I steamed some veggies to have with dinner. One of my favorite ways of getting veggies is through the steam-in-the-bag kind. It’s perfect for someone lazy, like yours truly. The vegetables are flash frozen as they are picked, so they maintain all the nutrients. Then you just toss the bag into your microwave, and BAM! You have delicious, healthy goodness to add to your meal or even have by itself. I have been known to eat a smaller bag of mixed veggies as a snack.

Today, I hit up Subway for a $5 footlong. I tried the new Orchard Chicken Salad sandwich on 9 grain Honey Oat bread. I gotta say, it was tasty! I believe it’s around 8 grams of fat and 350 calories. I added lettuce, tomato and green bell peppers. I had both halves wrapped separately- one for lunch, one for dinner at work. Also, more apple slices today, along with my leftover steamed veggies, and a baggie of baby carrots.

I’m a little bit obsessed with baby carrots. For several weeks now, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed taking them as snacks. I have no issue with eating a cup or more of them, because I didn’t get fat from eating too many carrots! Just call me Bugs

In other news, I got some reading done. Not much, but I hope to remedy that tomorrow. The book is okay so far, but I’m having a hard time getting into it. Oh well, maybe a few more hours of reading can cure that.

The half marathon is in less than 36 hours… hard to believe that I started training for this nearly six months ago, and it’s already here. Granted, I will be walking most of it. I am lazy, and did not push myself as hard as I could have.

After that’s over, I think I might add some different exercise to my June challenge. I was going to wait until July, but I will think of a different challenge… starting this Monday, I want to do at least 30 minutes of some kind of activity every day. I will no longer be in training mode. I might do Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred. I like her. I still need to Hulu her new show, Losing It. If I had room for her to stay, I might apply to have her come and yell at me.

Anyway. I have a busy weekend. I will probably write again on Saturday night, but no later than Sunday. Until next time!

(Does anyone actually read this? Besides Stefanie I mean… I <3 you Stef!)

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